Sinking Ships And Bacon
by Fire-Phoenix-Kai
Summary: title has nothing to do with story... tala's hair, peacocks, gangsters? what the hell is this writer smoking? tala's hairs tries to take over teh world. will it succeed read adn find out! R


**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

zo to again its beena while. i wrote this out of pure boredom again in art and computer class. And a friends really wanted me to write something that was Tala bashing sorta. I love tala and kai! well enjoy!

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**Sinking Ships and Bacon **

Tala was walking through the city minding his own business when Akari jumps out of a bush and shoots him with a bazooka gun. His whole body obliterates, this leaves only his hair lying on the ground. Akari runs off laughing maniacally. As soon as she was gone the hair moved. The hair looks around scratches the top of its hair thinking. The hair soon slides off to a continent store, grabs a pack of Cigarettes and goes to pay for them. The cashier is dumfounded and has yet to figure out what he is looking at.

"That will be 3 dollars." says the cashier.

The hair reaches inside itself and pulls out a 5. The cashier takes the 5 and gives the hair his change. The hair takes the change and stuffs away and grabs the cigarettes and leaves. The hair then goes in a dark alley and starts to smoke a cigarette. Then 3 big gangsters jump Tala's hair, the hair looks around before attacking one of the gangsters. He pokes the gangster's eyes then jumps onto his next victim, before the gangster knows what is happening the hair stabs him in the heart with one of his antennas. The last guy gets scared and runs away screaming. The hair laughs maniacally and runs out of the ally. The hair then runs all the way to Washington and kills the president. Somehow the hair then runs for president and wins. Then he changes the U.S. to a monarchy and becomes king. The hair laughs evilly rubbing his two antennas together like a mad man plotting the end of all humanity. The hair gets all the people to build him a giant throne to sit on. In 3 weeks later the throne was complete and Tala's hair is sitting proudly on it. Then out of nowhere a hippy jumps out and starts yelling at him. The hair shakes one of his antennas angrily and orders the hippy to get community service for the rest of his life. The hippy hells and screams.

"You can't do this to me man, its called freedom of speech!" The hippy yells.

"I burned the constitution! There is no freedom of speech!" The hair yells right back.

"You can't do that man! It's not cool!" The hippy yells.

Then out of nowhere the hippy gets a gun out of his hippy coat and points it hat the hair.

"May the power of love smite you!" The hippy yells.

The hippy fires the gun and a flower shoots out of it but it stops right before it hits the hair and hits the ground.

"Ahhhh! It's a demon man run!" The hippy yells and runs away. Everyone just stares at him as the guards tackle him and take him away to do his time in community service.

Then a peacock swoops down grabs Tala's hair and flies with it wall the way to Africa. The peacock then drops the hair and flies away. The hair falls in a tree and lands right next to a tarantula. The hair attacks the tarantula and uses some vines for reins that he ties onto the spiders fangs. He uses the tarantula like a horse and rides the giant spider down the tree. He then uses the tarantula to take over a nearby pack of lions. He becomes the chief commander of the lions, leads them to a tribe of humans, and gets them to attack the humans. He takes over the tribe before nightfall. The hair goes to sleep.

The next day the hair wakes up and commands the humans to build a nuclear bomb. The people follow orders and the bomb is finished in 4 hours. Durring the time the bomb was being worked on the hair gathered 500 peacocks that he is going to use to pick up the bomb and drop on Germany. He straps the bomb to the birds and he was off towards Germany. An hour later he was over Germany. He let the bomb drop. The bomb lands on the ground with a loud clank. Everyone on the streets looks at the bomb they were all thinking the same thing 'what the hell!' The hair rides a peacock down to the bomb wondering why the stupid thing didn't explode. On the bomb was a big sign 'Pull out before dropping.' The hair removed the tiny slip of paper, this of course cause the bomb to explode. The explosion somehow found a way to spread throughout the world, killing everybody but Tala's hair and, our beloved, Kai. The hair and Kai are floating in outer space talking.

"What the hell were you thinking," yelled Kai.

"I don't know," replied the hair. "Want to go to mars?"

"Ok," Says Kai.

They both float off to mars and discover the world of Pokemon. They both take over the world of Pokemon and live happily ever after.

**The End**

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**well hope u liked it! r&r please! or check out my other stories. bye for now!**


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